The first born son, a proud family position in nations around the world. Heirs of the family profession and fortune, these children have a position of potential wealth and power. Parents in some countries have even been known to murder their own first born infants if they are not male. I just happen to be the first born son in my family. I could be powerful, wealthy, have a decent hair cut, but wait, there's on catch. I live in America, the land of opportunity, where a household's first born son serves an entirely different purpose. This purpose is what I like to refer to as a family's Official Child-Raising Test Dummy, or OCRTD for short. As a child-raising test dummy, it is my sole responsibility in life to boldly venture forth into the world as an experimental guinea pig for my parent's teaching skills. In short, an OCRTD serves as a child-raising practice run. If your parents fail in raising you, they will know that they will have to do a better job in bringing up your younger siblings. This means that I function somewhat like an over sized carbon-based pincushion of learning (sounds fun huh?). However bazaar it may sound, this job is an important part of today's family environment (however dysfunctional it may be).
As an Official Child-Raising Test Dummy, my main function is to ensure that my younger sibling, in this case K_____, my little sister (actually 14 years old isn't really that little), is raised to be a better person than me. This task is usually accomplished by letting my parents experiment with different punishments and learning styles on me before trying them on my sister. In short, my parents enjoy messing with my mind. An example of this took place two years ago when I obviously by some horrific mistake by the school, received a grade that was a little on the low side (OK, it was an F). My mother decided she had to ground me for the entire summer, depriving me of television, video games, and all of the other household necessities of today's youth. After the summer, when I was nearly dying of boredom, my mother decided that she had been a little harsh. Because of this, my sister will never be subject to the torture that I was put through. This experimental aspect of being an official child-raising test dummy is definitely one of the position's cons.
Another negative aspect of my family position is what I like to refer to as the responsibility factor. As the oldest child in my household, I am obliged to take on responsibility for nearly every action of my younger sibling. To explain this better, I will now give an example. If I, as the OCRTD of the family, am home alone with my angelic little sister, I become responsible for anything that she may decide to destroy. When my sister does something fun such as writing on the carpet with a bright red marker (she's 14 physically, but not mentally), I get the blame because I am older and therefore more responsible. I should have been watching her better. For this reason, having a destructive little sister is quite inconvenient.
By now, you are probably wondering what the positive aspects of my role in the family are. Well, every once in a while, being "older and more responsible" can be a benefit. Occasionally one of my parent's experiments on me will turn out in my favor. This can happen in many ways. The best way is when I am allowed to do things that my sister is not because I am older. I call this the "I'm the oldest, so I'm more responsible" factor. This factor can be used as an excuse for anything from being able to shop for myself, to going out with friend. Unfortunately, overuse of this factor can lead to experiments such as the one that I have entitled "If your so responsible, get a job and make your own money."
Although I'm poked, beaten (well, not literally of course), and tested, I enjoy the position that I hold in my family. Being the oldest child, although it comes with a lot of responsibility, has it's benefits, and I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. Being an older brother in a loving family is a privilege that, whether I admit it or not, should not be taken for granted. Official Child-Raising Test Dummies rule!
No comments:
Post a Comment